Current weight: 342
Weight on Dec. 17th: 343
Weight lost: 1 pound
Starting weight: 351
Left to lose: 91 pounds

Project One Year : losing is the hardest part.

“Being fat is never feeling comfortable with yourself...Being fat is not wanting to eat in front of people…Being fat is hiding your body under a jacket in the
middle of summer throughout your high school years…Being fat is being told by your doctor that you will die if you don’t change your habits.”

Those are the words which I wrote when I began this journey one year ago. I found myself reading them again this week as I contemplated the monumental failure called Project One Year. I have lost a lot in the one year that has followed:

I lost my keys more times than I care to admit.

I lost my wallet an almost equal number of times.

I lost my patience driving on Palm Coast Parkway even more.

I lost pets.

I lost loved ones.

I lost a lot of things… other than weight.

Oh yeah, I also lost a trip to the Bahamas (which was the prize being offered by our Publisher, Eric Gayton, if I were able to lose 100 pounds.)

I was so full of optimism last year. Back then, one year seemed like such a long stretch. How could I possibly fail? I have a whole year! Funny how quickly a year can fly by while you are busy doing other things. The best of intentions lost in the everyday business of life. Time I once devoted to working out became occupied by other things. Work mostly, but other obligations became obstacles, too - friends, family, and all the other things that you just have to do.

In the end, though, I realize it all comes down to me. I didn’t make the time to do what I needed to do. Each day, week and month that went by, I found myself telling myself the same lie -- I’ll try harder the next day, week or month. Before I knew it, I was out of time.

With that comes a new realization. That’s how I’ve lived my whole life. Putting things off until a later date.

When I was a chubby teenager, time seemed to stretch out infinitely. The future was some far off distant object which couldn’t come soon enough. Then, during my 20‘s, I as convinced that things will change. Now, halfway through my thirties, I am saying the same things. Tomorrow always looks so full of possibility. I’m young-ish, there’s still plenty of time.

Only there isn’t.

As this year has proven, time runs out before you know it. Will I be facing this weight problem in my 40’s, telling myself the same lies over and over? If so, I can be certain that my days will be numbered due to some health related malady.

There is an oft-used quote attributed to several authors, including John Lennon, which says, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

In other words, no matter what you plan on doing, life is made up of the actions you choose to do.

It’s that simple.

And that difficult.

The past year of exposing my weaknesses every other week to thousands of readers has been a… weird experience. I don’t know what else to call it, other than “weird.” I was surprised by the variety of people that emailed, called and approached me to wish me well, offer advice, or even an insult. I’m honored that so many of you would take the time to read or care about what some fat guy has to say even though for a while it appeared as if I got my goals confused and was trying to GAIN 100 pounds.

My boss has not repeated the offer this year so the only Project One Year for 2007 will be the one I fight privately where the only prize will be my health.

I’m not giving up, though. I can’t. Not after I’ve lost a whole nine pounds!

All joking aside, as of January 1^st I’m starting over with renewed commitment. A year behind, but a year wiser of what didn’t work, and hopefully what I need to do to finally lose 100 pounds. This battle is far from over.

Thank you, readers, for letting me enter your homes, workplaces, cars, bathrooms, or wherever you read this. I hope, even in failure, to have helped someone -- even if that help is only providing the knowledge to those sharing my battle that you are not alone in this fight.

Here’s to the next year!